Reminiscing about the past years

As the title suggest, I've been doing a lot of reminiscing about the first half of the year 2007 lately.
A lot of things had happened to me in this year especially, the major transition of my career life towards the end of March. People said that you will know whether you are suits for the job during your probation period. And, I agree to that. Yes, I like my job scope as stated in the offer letter. However, the extra task that they'd assigned to me is another story (Its not that I hate it, but at times I do fell so...).

Sometimes, I feel that they're taking advantage of me by assigning this extra task (which quite a lot and mind you, it should be done in a team of 5. to be precise, an actual development team + testing team). It is not that I don't want to contribute to the company, but doing my core job scope and this extra task leaving me tired and feel like a limp rug in the end of the day.

Oh yeah, the side effect of my hard work is my laptop LCD goes down. The company decided to buy me a brand new laptop instead of repairing it. A part for me thinks that "Whoa.. I'm so taken care of". Hahaha.. yeah, right Hidayah.. Keep on dreaming..

As a result to the maximum usage of brain power and also body energy, it seems that I easily snapped to the people around me. Poor my team mate.. (Sorry guys, I didn't mean it.. Seriously). And, in the past 3 month I've already taken medical leave twice. Its kinda scares me because I rarely fell sick. As far as I can remember, I'd only fall sick less than three times in a year... Does exhaustion and stress is the main source of my weak antibody? Yes, my doctor had confirm it.

But, looking at the bright sight, the company awarded me as the Best Employee of the Month.. Woo-hoot... and of course, got some $$$ allowance, which is suffice for me to go for one round shopping (rewarding and pampering myself as the motivation ^_^)

But, somehow deep in my mind asking myself this "How long can u stand this?"

Its been a while..

Time's fly by really fast... I haven't updated my blogs due to too busy at work and on the weekends I have to attend my cousin's wedding. Well, its really tiring but its also fun. I haven't met my relatives for quite a while. The wedding occasions is really the good place and time to catch-up with them. I've enjoyed myself but there is the downside as well. I got sick after the ocassions. It was damn hot and there's only "Syrup Ice". Cajoling my thirst with ice on a sunny day resulting me falling sick then and there.. Tee-hee tomorrow I'm taking MC. My head really spins (even now while I'm writing the post). Another down-side is, everyone asking me "When you're getting married, then?".. I think I'd handled the questions quite well by answering "After my elder sister got married first".. Hahahaha.. Sorry, Kak Mie... You're my scapegoat for such situations.. :P

Aihh... I'm too bz with NO work nowadays.. Hahaha.. ~_^ Feel like don't have any life at all.. On workdays, by 8am go to office and by 7pm reach home. On weekends, stays at home. Hurrmmm.. I haven't watch any good movies or done any shopping in the past 3 months.. Hurrmm... maybe i should fine a good hobby fast.. Huhuhuhu...

Akad Nikah Tersebut....

Just want to share a story on akad nikah ;P

Petikan ini saya dapat dari kawan saya. Citernya gini.. Pada cuti hari minggu yang lalu, aku menghadiri Satu Majlis akad nikah kawan pada kawan ku. Waktu tu aku bercuti dikampung dia. Jadi bila ada kenduri macam tu dia pun pergi dan ajak aku sekali. Aku pun ikut sama.Masa tu majlis akad nikah tu dijalankan diruang tamu. Ramai orang aku tengok, sambil duduk bersila mengelilingi tok kadi dan pengantin lelaki. Dahsyat, pengantin tu duduk atas bantal macam raja. Masa bersila tu, aku pun mengesot sikit2 untuk dengar apa yang tok kadi akan tanya. Rupanya macam2 jugak tok kadi tanya. Tapi ada satu soalan yang menyebabkan aku malu besar... Tok kadi tanya pasal satu hari berapa kali wajib solat, dengan lajunye pengantin lelaki tu jawab "lima". Tok kadi tanya lagi, bagi contoh2 najis kecil, dia pun jawap kencing baby yang kecik2 lagi. Tok kadi pun angguk ler, jadi aku rasa jawapan tu ok la kut. Tok kadi tanya lagi contoh najis besar, pengantin lelaki mula panik, jeling kiri, jeling kanan, mula tengok syiling, aku rasa macam nak tolong je pengantin lelaki tu. Bukannye susah, jawapannya anjing dan babi je,.. tapi pengantin lelaki tu dah mula berpeluh jantan keluar kat dahi.. tok kadi mula senyum. Aku sebut dalam hati moga2 dia dengar 'anjing ngan babi ler..', tapi rupanya aku cakap dalam hati dia tak dengar. Aku tak tahu apa yang jadi selepas itu, kerana majlis tu jadi kecoh kerana ramai orang yang berada sekeliling majlis tu yg tgh minum air sirap, tersembur keluar minuman tue terkena baju ramai orang, aku pun sama, masa tu aku tengah minum sirap tu, tiba2 aku semburkan balik, dah kene member kat tepi2, kecoh jadinya, aku pegang mata aku, penuh dengan air mata.Yang aku ingat masa tok kadi tanya tentang contoh najis besar kat pengantin tu keadaan senyap sunyi..tapi bila pengantin tu jawap "Taik Gajah"suasana jadik hingar bingar dengan gelak ketawa orang yang dah tak boleh tahan, nak control macamana. "taik gajah. besar betul.. nak2 bila gajah makan durian."


P/S: I bet the groom is panicking inside.. And, dia tak leh pk straight.. Nervous sgt2 agaknyer.

Communication Block

I have never thought I would face great difficulties in communications... Anyhow, there's always the first for everything, right.. At my current company, all colleagues in my teams are Indian and they're from India. I could'nt quite catch their burr or slangs eventhough they spoke in English.. They spoke in English as though they translated Indian language into English, and I could'nt catch what are they saying at times...
Hopefuly, I could diminsh this blocks away from me, soon... real soon...

Anyway, lyrics below is not related at all with the main issues of the post. Its just that, the songs is really good and I want to share it with you guys. Yeah, as you can guess the songs reveals my vulnerabilities and I do feel exactly as the songs mean. Towards whom? Thats a big secrets of mine.. ^_^

Artist/Band: Rascal Flatts
Album: Other Songs
Song Title: What Hurts the Most


I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me


What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do


It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken


What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Go away, Indecisiveness..

Yay, finally I'll be free... I'll stop b*tching on it and taking ur challenge, my good friend..
I'm quitting for good.

After 2 weeks of massive job huntings, I've receive a few attractive job offers. And, now I'm considering which offer should I take? Taking into considerations, the pro's and con's of each offers are extremely difficult.. Hurmmmm.... But, taking the counter-offer from my current company is defintely not an option (Hopefully, I will not be tempted by any of their counter-offer.. Huhuhu T_T)

Now, I understand people said taking the next step is the difficult one.. These questions arise every time: "Am I taking the right decisions?", "Will everything be alright?", "What if I screwed up?" and so on.. The feelings of insecurity and vulnerability taking over my mentality slowly..Its freaking me out.. Nevertheless, I will try my best.. Strives for the future.....