Menjelang Ramadhan

Do'a Malaikat Jibril Menjelang Ramadhan ""Ya Allah tolong abaikan puasa umat Muhammad, apabila sebelum memasuki bulan Ramadhan dia tidak melakukan hal-hal yang berikut:
* Tidak memohon maaf terlebih dahulu kepada kedua orang tuanya (jika masih ada);
* Tidak berma'afan terlebih dahulu antara suami isteri;
* Tidak berma'afan terlebih dahulu dengan orang-orang sekitarnya.
Maka Rasulullah pun mengatakan Amiin sebanyak 3 kali. Dapat kita bayangkan, yang berdo'a adalah Malaikat dan yang meng-aminkan adalah Rasullullah dan para sahabat, dan dilakukan pada hari Jumaat.

Melalui pesanan ini saya memohon maaf jika selama ini saya memiliki kesalahan, baik yang tidak di sengaja mahupun yang di sengaja.

The famous "Malas" syndrome

Aihhh... My dear lil sis sebarkan syndrome malas dia to me, eventough she's 100000miles away (Sheesshh.. 'malas' is very contagious.....)
Symptom2 'malas' yang ketara on me currently:
malas nak pergi kerja
malas nak buat kerja
malas nak pikir masa depan (e.g: ......)
when I:
love to sleep
love to watch movie/tv/anime
love to be "Lazy"
love to go shopping
still:
have to go to work
have to complete all mys tasks well
currently:
have to 'start' thinking on the future (takes sometimes though @_@.. one whom is close to me knew that i take future as "The future comes soon enough. Let it be.")
but the world is not fair:
all that i Love to do's, is the things that I can't do for time being (I'm damn buzy)...
and, the reality:
I have to plan and decide on my own what's best for me
(Hazardous defects on me = Bad in time management + Bad in making decisions)...

Stressful months...

“Job stress comes in many different forms and affects your body in various ways. Major stress comes from having too much work, not having enough work, doing work that is unfulfilling, fearing a job layoff, or not getting along with your boss. Minor sources of stress may include equipment that won't work or phones that won't quit ringing.” Source from Yahoo: Managing Stress

I was diagnosed to have major stress problem. The symptoms was damn obvious and is tiring me out. I could'nt even get peaceful sleep at nights. Sometimes I will snap out and feels like I'm going to be crazy at some point. The frustration keep building up. Even dark circles started showing under my eyes and makes me look like a panda. One of my seniors once comment on my looks that " Siti, you look like hell". At that moment, I was shocked by her remarks but reply to her casually "You does'nt look any better". Yeah right, as if I have the time in the world to maintain my appearance.. (Sheesshhh... If I do that, half of my works will not be completed at any rate)

I have tried many ways to heal my tormented soul like pampering myself (either shopping, movies, hair spa or being substitute maid or driver for my mum), not going to work in the weekends, sleep, eat etc but nothing seems to work well. A few of my friends suggest to take a break, away from work and the stress. But, currently is a crucial time. I will not be able to apply for leaves. (Damn, even now I'm not sure if I able to take Hari Raya leave.)

Sometimes I've been wondering, what's keeping me moving at this time?. (Hmm.. I'm still mulling over this).. No, I'm not a wonder woman or genetically superior human being that I can complete all task perfectly (which is, currently an overload). I'm just doing what I can do. So, please don't put anymore pressure on me .... Gimme a break ..

Decisions and choices.

In our every day life, we have to make up our own decisions and take responsibilities of it. All decisions made was done after thinking about it thoroughly, contradicting the pro's n con's, options available for that matters, and the most important thing is the impact and rationale's behind the decision's.

When I was young, I’m having nothing to be worried about since everything was taken care off by my parents. When I was a teenager, I’m worried and about what clothes I’m going to wear, what presents should I get for my best friends, mulling over about my weights, what I’m going to be when I was an adult, (doctor, programmer, engineer, etc), try my best to get good grades or busying myself with puppy love and so on... But now, when I’m an adult, I'm working hard on building a career, maintaining good relationships (like my family, friends, colleagues, etc) and also the unforeseen future.

By the time passing by I’ve realize that each decisions I’m about to make will have a very big impact in my life. What make me so indecisive while making decisions was these kinds of thoughts that I’m having: Am I able to carry it out well? What will happen next? Will I hurt anyone by taking this option? And the scariest part is: What if I screwed up? The uneasiness and insecurity feelings will always lingers in my heart even though I look very confidant at times. (Am I allowed to feel this way?)

Yes, I know that is how our life goes on… By making decisions and choices. And I know that, as normal human being (I’m not genetically superior human being ;) as was claimed by few of my colleagues) we apt to make errors and mistakes because we learned our lessons from that. However, I was blessed to have understanding family, supportive friends and colleagues whom always be the ever listener, sharing their point of views and also giving me other wonderful options. I thanked God and them for that.