My Gibberish

Boring Day

2007-09-21T16:51:00.000+08:00

Ta-Daaa.. I'm so bored at work. Got no actual task to be done. Then, as a result I've updated the look and feel of my blogs..
Hahahahaha.. I'm such a bad employee ^_^

Another bad week

2007-09-21T12:02:00.000+08:00

Oh maannn... I just had to considered that this week is one of the bad weeks in my life. The worst yet have to come. It all happens on Tuesday around 6pm on NKVE Damansara exit when I was on my way back to Shah Alam. The weather that day is so perfect, as the sun was shining and there was no gray clouds smears the blue sky. Traffics course can be considered quite good even though there was many car spooling the tolls way. My mood at that time was very happy and my brain was planning on what to have to break my fast whilst driving my back.

As I was driving slowly queuing up on the TnGo lane all of the sudden, a Chinese girl whom drove a Kancil banged my car from behind. The impact of the crashed made me very shocked, but thank god for my good reflexes, my legs hit the brake as hard as I could. At that moment, I was just praying to God not to make my car a "Kelisa sandwich". After making sure the car behind me had stopped completely, I pull on the hand brakes and get out of the car and check at the car in front of me. It maybe sounds silly, as other people might want to check where your car was damaged but I have to ensure that I didn't hit the car in front of me - a new 5 Series BMW..

Thankfully god had answered my quick prayers.. I managed to stop in time. Then, when I saw the driver who hit me is a girl whom is still "P" my anger dissipated then and there. Seeing her, my mind flew back to 8 months ago, when I was once in her shoes.. Huhuhuhu... She's started panicking, and calling her dad. I've asked her to move our car to the road side first, but it seems that she is so in panic that she declined. Because of us, the tolls traffic increases. Due to the waste of a TnGo lane and also, the fact that most of the cars is slowing down watching "our accident".

When she'd calm down after talking to his dad, I gave her my business card and also get her personal details from her. She kept saying sorry to me over and over again. Then, she asked me to spoke to her father. Luckily, the father understands and asks me not to lodge a report to the police since her daughter is still under probation. My stands is simple. You fixed my car then I have no complaint.

The next morning, my dad brings me to a workshop in Sri Subang ( the place where my Kelisa got her skirtings done). While waiting for the girl father, another accident happened right in front of me. The mechanics tried to reverse a customer car - white Honda Civic 98. All of the sudden, he was reversing way too fast without noticing there was a trailer coming from the opposite directions. The back of the car was totally crashed. The mechanic was so lucky as he's not injured at all. The front of the trailer damaged quite bad.

Since these incidents happened is the same week, my younger brother said I'm jinxed for the week. Yeah, right.. There he goes with the superstitious believes. I think that, no matter how careful we can be, if the accidents meant to be happened, it will happens anyway..

Ramdahan Al-Mubarak

2007-09-17T12:20:00.000+08:00

Yeah, Ramadhan kembali menjengah semua umat Islam di dunia. Kebiasaanya, waktu2 ini laaa umat Islam akan sibuk mengumpul nikmat bulan mulia ini - Tarawikh.. Huhuhu.. Malu untuk aku katakan, sudah genap 5 hari kita berpuasa, aku tidak berkesempatan langsung untuk mengerjakan Tarawikh.. Bukannyer tak mahu atau malas, tetapi terpaksa menguruskan juadah buka dan sahur... Penat sangat-sangat... Weih, Kak Mimie, balik laaaaaa cepat..... (Waaaaaaaaaaa... Gila rindu kat ko)

Oh yeah, sebut psl Kak Mimie yg tgh merantau kat London tue... Sebenarnya, aku pun teringin nak merantau kat overseas, takde laaa lama.. maybe 2-3 yrs is enough.. Dah 2 offer telah ku tolak, sebab mama tak bagi.. Tiap kali aku tanya boleh tak aku merantau, sure Mama jawab "Habis tue, kalo dah sumer dah gie keluar, saper yang nak duduk kat rumah"... Aihhh... terasa ketidak-adilan berlaku kepada aku...

Simpsonize Me

2007-07-31T22:57:00.000+08:00

Tee-Hee.. I got The Simpsons fever.. I even Simpsonize myself as the Springfield residents.
Can't hardly wait to watch the movie...

Click here to Simpsonize UrSelf

9 WORDS WOMEN USED

2007-07-29T16:01:00.000+08:00

(1)Fine:
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2)Five Minutes:
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3)Nothing:
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4)Go Ahead:
This is a dare, not a permission. Don't Do It!

(5)Loud Sigh:
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6)That's Okay:
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7)Thanks:
A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

(8)Whatever:
Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

(9)Don't worry about it, I got it:
Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman
has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to # 3.

**Owh, I do agree with all above. Sigh! I do have typical mind as a typical women.. Hahahaha...
To the male readers out there, do remember Women Terminology as it will helps you to avois upcoming conflicts or arguments ^_~

Reminiscing about the past years

2007-07-12T17:31:00.000+08:00

As the title suggest, I've been doing a lot of reminiscing about the first half of the year 2007 lately.
A lot of things had happened to me in this year especially, the major transition of my career life towards the end of March. People said that you will know whether you are suits for the job during your probation period. And, I agree to that. Yes, I like my job scope as stated in the offer letter. However, the extra task that they'd assigned to me is another story (Its not that I hate it, but at times I do fell so...).

Sometimes, I feel that they're taking advantage of me by assigning this extra task (which quite a lot and mind you, it should be done in a team of 5. to be precise, an actual development team + testing team). It is not that I don't want to contribute to the company, but doing my core job scope and this extra task leaving me tired and feel like a limp rug in the end of the day.

Oh yeah, the side effect of my hard work is my laptop LCD goes down. The company decided to buy me a brand new laptop instead of repairing it. A part for me thinks that "Whoa.. I'm so taken care of". Hahaha.. yeah, right Hidayah.. Keep on dreaming..

As a result to the maximum usage of brain power and also body energy, it seems that I easily snapped to the people around me. Poor my team mate.. (Sorry guys, I didn't mean it.. Seriously). And, in the past 3 month I've already taken medical leave twice. Its kinda scares me because I rarely fell sick. As far as I can remember, I'd only fall sick less than three times in a year... Does exhaustion and stress is the main source of my weak antibody? Yes, my doctor had confirm it.

But, looking at the bright sight, the company awarded me as the Best Employee of the Month.. Woo-hoot... and of course, got some $$$ allowance, which is suffice for me to go for one round shopping (rewarding and pampering myself as the motivation ^_^)

But, somehow deep in my mind asking myself this "How long can u stand this?"

Its been a while..

2007-05-28T00:55:00.000+08:00

Time's fly by really fast... I haven't updated my blogs due to too busy at work and on the weekends I have to attend my cousin's wedding. Well, its really tiring but its also fun. I haven't met my relatives for quite a while. The wedding occasions is really the good place and time to catch-up with them. I've enjoyed myself but there is the downside as well. I got sick after the ocassions. It was damn hot and there's only "Syrup Ice". Cajoling my thirst with ice on a sunny day resulting me falling sick then and there.. Tee-hee tomorrow I'm taking MC. My head really spins (even now while I'm writing the post). Another down-side is, everyone asking me "When you're getting married, then?".. I think I'd handled the questions quite well by answering "After my elder sister got married first".. Hahahaha.. Sorry, Kak Mie... You're my scapegoat for such situations.. :P

Aihh... I'm too bz with NO work nowadays.. Hahaha.. ~_^ Feel like don't have any life at all.. On workdays, by 8am go to office and by 7pm reach home. On weekends, stays at home. Hurrmmm.. I haven't watch any good movies or done any shopping in the past 3 months.. Hurrmm... maybe i should fine a good hobby fast.. Huhuhuhu...

Akad Nikah Tersebut....

2007-04-07T11:25:00.000+08:00

Just want to share a story on akad nikah ;P

Petikan ini saya dapat dari kawan saya. Citernya gini.. Pada cuti hari minggu yang lalu, aku menghadiri Satu Majlis akad nikah kawan pada kawan ku. Waktu tu aku bercuti dikampung dia. Jadi bila ada kenduri macam tu dia pun pergi dan ajak aku sekali. Aku pun ikut sama.Masa tu majlis akad nikah tu dijalankan diruang tamu. Ramai orang aku tengok, sambil duduk bersila mengelilingi tok kadi dan pengantin lelaki. Dahsyat, pengantin tu duduk atas bantal macam raja. Masa bersila tu, aku pun mengesot sikit2 untuk dengar apa yang tok kadi akan tanya. Rupanya macam2 jugak tok kadi tanya. Tapi ada satu soalan yang menyebabkan aku malu besar... Tok kadi tanya pasal satu hari berapa kali wajib solat, dengan lajunye pengantin lelaki tu jawab "lima". Tok kadi tanya lagi, bagi contoh2 najis kecil, dia pun jawap kencing baby yang kecik2 lagi. Tok kadi pun angguk ler, jadi aku rasa jawapan tu ok la kut. Tok kadi tanya lagi contoh najis besar, pengantin lelaki mula panik, jeling kiri, jeling kanan, mula tengok syiling, aku rasa macam nak tolong je pengantin lelaki tu. Bukannye susah, jawapannya anjing dan babi je,.. tapi pengantin lelaki tu dah mula berpeluh jantan keluar kat dahi.. tok kadi mula senyum. Aku sebut dalam hati moga2 dia dengar 'anjing ngan babi ler..', tapi rupanya aku cakap dalam hati dia tak dengar. Aku tak tahu apa yang jadi selepas itu, kerana majlis tu jadi kecoh kerana ramai orang yang berada sekeliling majlis tu yg tgh minum air sirap, tersembur keluar minuman tue terkena baju ramai orang, aku pun sama, masa tu aku tengah minum sirap tu, tiba2 aku semburkan balik, dah kene member kat tepi2, kecoh jadinya, aku pegang mata aku, penuh dengan air mata.Yang aku ingat masa tok kadi tanya tentang contoh najis besar kat pengantin tu keadaan senyap sunyi..tapi bila pengantin tu jawap "Taik Gajah"suasana jadik hingar bingar dengan gelak ketawa orang yang dah tak boleh tahan, nak control macamana. "taik gajah. besar betul.. nak2 bila gajah makan durian."

P/S: I bet the groom is panicking inside.. And, dia tak leh pk straight.. Nervous sgt2 agaknyer.

Communication Block

2007-04-01T20:17:00.000+08:00

I have never thought I would face great difficulties in communications... Anyhow, there's always the first for everything, right.. At my current company, all colleagues in my teams are Indian and they're from India. I could'nt quite catch their burr or slangs eventhough they spoke in English.. They spoke in English as though they translated Indian language into English, and I could'nt catch what are they saying at times...
Hopefuly, I could diminsh this blocks away from me, soon... real soon...

Anyway, lyrics below is not related at all with the main issues of the post. Its just that, the songs is really good and I want to share it with you guys. Yeah, as you can guess the songs reveals my vulnerabilities and I do feel exactly as the songs mean. Towards whom? Thats a big secrets of mine.. ^_^

Artist/Band: Rascal Flatts
Album: Other Songs
Song Title: What Hurts the Most

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don’t bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out
I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while
Even though going on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again
I pretend I’m ok
But that’s not what gets me

What hurts the most
Was being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was tryin’ to do

It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go
But I’m doin’ It
It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone
Still Harder
Getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And having so much to say
And watching you walk away
And never knowing
What could have been
And not seeing that loving you
Is what I was trying to do

Go away, Indecisiveness..

2007-03-18T02:15:00.000+08:00

Yay, finally I'll be free... I'll stop b*tching on it and taking ur challenge, my good friend..
I'm quitting for good.

After 2 weeks of massive job huntings, I've receive a few attractive job offers. And, now I'm considering which offer should I take? Taking into considerations, the pro's and con's of each offers are extremely difficult.. Hurmmmm.... But, taking the counter-offer from my current company is defintely not an option (Hopefully, I will not be tempted by any of their counter-offer.. Huhuhu T_T)

Now, I understand people said taking the next step is the difficult one.. These questions arise every time: "Am I taking the right decisions?", "Will everything be alright?", "What if I screwed up?" and so on.. The feelings of insecurity and vulnerability taking over my mentality slowly..Its freaking me out.. Nevertheless, I will try my best.. Strives for the future.....

I Should Quit My Job

2007-03-10T11:20:00.000+08:00

Your Job Dissatisfaction Level is 66%

Your job is a total bummer, and probably the worst job you've ever had.
Your co-workers stink. Your boss is a jerk. And your company is probably in trouble.
Think about finding a new job quickly, even if it's just a not-so-great transition job.
You've got to get out of there as quickly as you can!

Should You Quit Your Job?

Somewhere over the rainbow

2007-02-24T00:16:00.000+08:00

Career:
Now, I've realised that at some point I have to put myself above all. Actually its quite ok to be selfish, for your own sake. I think it is time for me to leave my current company and find other company that will appreciate my skills and efforts that I've put for them. Enough said, I'm happy and anxious to leave.. Sooner are better to give a piece to my troubled mind. Hopefully, I won't be swayed by their counter offer.. And, currently, I am buzy looking for better jobs, with better statutory engagements and definitely with better pays ^_^

Relationship:
I've been ridiculed by some of my friends and colleagues about going out with my bestfriend (a guy, whom already have a g/f). They claimed that there's no such a thing as a girl + guy being just friends. There's more to it than it is. Am I that terribly naive? I've been doing some thinking on this while I'm on my breaks.. But, still I don't get it. As to that, I've been avoiding to see him for these past few months. And the truth is, I feel bad avoiding him in a sudden without giving him proper explaination... Really sorry... T_T

Hehehe.. Lately, I've notice that I'm turning to a melancholy meddlesome old women... As the proof to that, I have the songs below rewinding in my head to give me comfort all times..

Somewhere over the rainbow
by Judy Garland

Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true

Someday I'll wish upon a star
And wake up where the clouds are far behind me
Where troubles melt like lemon drops
Away above the chimney tops
That's where you'll find me

Somewhere over the rainbow
Bluebirds fly
Birds fly over the rainbow
Why then oh why can't I?

If happy little bluebirds fly
Beyond the rainbow
Why oh why can't I?

New Year Resolutions...

2007-01-10T14:07:00.000+08:00

Goodbye and Thanks to 2006:

Apparently, 2006 is a fine year of experience for me. There was many ups and downs happened in my life back then, which have matures and made me stronger to survive in this world. I believe in contemplating our past can improve our life in the future. Yeah, I’m trying my best to look ahead in optimist attitude. I’m fully aware that we can’t have everything that we wanted. To me, if we had try to obtain it as hard as we can give, but to no avail, then there’s reasons behind it as to why it as such. “You get what you give”.

Welcome to 2007:

My Resolutions for 2007 –

Working:

1. Get a raise or 2^nd assessment before year-end or get a better job.

2. Enjoy my work, task and traveling. Need to improve in time-management.

3. Maintain good relationship with colleagues.

4. Get as much experience

Family:

1. Spend as much time with them. Try to be back home early after working if possible.

Long-term plan:

1. Saving-up for future use.

2. Also, saving-up for Le Tour De Europe vacation planned on Summer 2008.

Love life:

1. Preferably, stay single.

2. If someone right comes along, I might start anew.

3. But, if marriage issues come, politely I will say, “Sorry, No, I’m not ready yet.” Yeah, a very lame excuse I can come up with. But truthfully, what came across my head at that instant is “Hell, No…” Yup, I’ve nearly give that brusque answer to a guy recently. I do need to remind myself all the time “Think, before you speak”.

Work for Live? or Live for Work?

2006-12-20T18:13:00.000+08:00

The Story

A long time ago, there was an Emperor who told his horseman that if he could ride on his horse and cover as much land area as he likes, then the Emperor would give him the area of land he has covered. Sure enough, the horseman quickly jumped onto his horse and rode as fast as possible to cover as much land area as he could. He kept on riding and riding, whipping the horse to go as fast as possible. When he was hungry, thirsty or tired, he did not stop because he wanted to cover as much area as possible. Came to a point when he had covered a substantial area and he was exhausted and was dying. Then he asked himself, "Why did I pushed myself so hard to cover so much land area? Now I am dying and I only need a very small area to bury myself."

The Lessons

The above story is similar with the journey of our LIFE. We push very hard everyday to make more money, to gain power and recognition. We neglect our HEALTH, TIME with our family and to APPRECIATE the surrounding beauty and the HOBBIES we love to do. One day when we LOOK BACK, we will REALIZE that we DON'T really need that much, but then we cannot turn back time for what we have MISSED. Life is not about making money, acquiring power or recognition. Life is definitely NOT about WORK! Work is only necessary to keep us living so as to enjoy the beauty and pleasure of life. Life is a balance of WORK and PLAY, FAMILY and PERSONAL time. You have to decide how to balance your life. Define your PRIORITIES, realize what you are able to compromise but always let some of your decision be based on your instincts. Happiness is the meaning and the purpose of life, the whole aim of human existence. So, take it easy, do what you want to do and appreciate nature. Life is fragile, Life is short. Do not take life for granted. Live a balance lifestyle and ENJOY Life!!

My Opinion

Yeah, basically "The Story" and "The Lessons" does make sense in the purrrfect world. But hey, the world we live in is not it. Plus, we're only mortals whom always do mistakes and errors. To me, living my life for myself currently is more than enough.

Home Sweet Home

2006-12-08T14:32:00.000+08:00

Yippiee.. Coming home at last.. I'm homesick.. Really want leave Jakarta.. Counting on the minutes to fly back home.. I misses my parents, my lil bro, my friends and my sweet home...
Yay.. coming homeeee...

My First Bussiness Trip to Jakarta

2006-12-03T08:43:00.000+08:00

Hey, its been awhile since my last posts. I'm on a bussiness trip and been quite buzy past these weeks. Currently, I' staying at Hotel Kristal at Jln Tarugong Raya, South Jakarta. And our clients office is quite far from our hotel, which takes us 30-40 mins to Bintaro. We're lucky that we don't have to go to the client head office which is in Sudirman that will takes us about 2 hrs to be there. The culture here is quite diffrent. Men and women can share a musollah. I'm very uncomfortable with this. They only used water filter "aqua water" to be drink. The food here is quite nice but can be said moderate in price. I did'nt try any of the food sell off side of the road. I might end up getting diarrhea if I do so...

The time is quite funny. At 6am, its already bright like 7:30am in Malaysia. And 6pm here, its dark like 8pm in Malaysia...I'm so not used to it until I can't get proper sleep the first two day I've been here. Unfortunately, I've fall sick with flu and high fever in the weekend... Jessie too... So, our shopping plan is cancelled. (Sorry Tapa, most probably I can't buy all the things in your wishlist)... I'll try to if we have the time here... Huhuhuhu...

Talking about work, its fine here.. eventhough clients are all the same... They're being pushy just to get what they needed.. Its the same on our side... For the pressure that was piling up because of works, when we reached our suite by 9pm, we were already half-dead. We were fortunate if we can even cook maggie mee for our dinner. But, sometimes I will join Raihan to the gym. Running on the machines to ge ride of the work pressure.

We get a suite with 2 rooms. The suite is very nice. Very similar to my dream apartment. Hmm.. got to go for now. Will update and put up more pictures whn I can..

Encounter with a Psychotic

2006-11-20T18:52:00.000+08:00

Last Saturday, I went to watch movie wif my dear shopping mate. Unfortunately, we arrive to MidValley a wee late, around 12pm which force us to take 3pm showtime (for the latest Bond movie). So, to kill our time we hanged out at MPH for free reading :P While browsing around tons of books, a guy approach me nicely starting on a pleasant conversation. well, naturally I will be polite to him and enjoy our convesation as a normal human being. After chit-chatting on general topics for 5-10 minutes, i've to excused myself as the clock ticking off to 2pm (since I've agreed with my friend that we're going to have lunch past 2pm). Suddenly, the 'nice' guy turn out to be a 'psycho' and don't want me to take my leave. He had grabbed my arm, blocked my way and cornering me to the book rack.

I'm starting to panicking but manage to calm myself down because there's many people there. I've threatened him, that I would shouted for help if he try to do something to me. This psycho doesn't even intimidated with my threat. He said that if you do that, you will only embarrassed urself. Then, suddenly he asked me with whom I'm coming with? Where's that guy and so on.. He's starting to take in my nerve. Finally, I just broke free from him by stomping my heels on his foot (since he's standing very close to me at that time..).. Gosh, I was pretty terrified..

Luckily, I've met with my friend after a few moment as he's also looking for me.. I don't think he know how very relieve I am seeing him at that time.. Huhuhu, seriously... I've learn the lessons.. "Don't speak to strangers".. or "having a suspicious nature or be cautious at times are good for you"... or keeping up my bengis attitude towards strangers (especially guys).. I think the psycho wacko guy are in despressed (his gf just dumped him) or desperate (desperado are very dangerous) or he is a psycho... I would be extra careful next time...

Lessons of Life

2006-11-15T18:41:00.000+08:00

I received these contents - email from a friend of mine. After reading these, it the hard cold truth just struck me stupefied that these are the naked truth that I can't bear... Truly.....

1. It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return, But what is more painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person know how you feel.
2. A sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, Only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go.
3. The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch swing with, Never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
4. It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
5. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone-but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
6. Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to a dark day seem bright.
7. Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
8. Always put yourself in the other's shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, It probably hurts the person too.
9. A careless word may kindle strife; a cruel word may wreck a life; a timely word may level stress; a loving word may heal and bless.
10. The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
11. Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss, ends with a tear. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one smiling and everyone around you is crying.

Ladies Nite

2006-11-08T21:20:00.000+08:00

Yesterday i've met with my best friends, Nisya and Lily. Aiihhh.. we have'nt met about 6 months. We're too buzy living our lives. Within these limited 3 hrs, we've chit-chatting, keeping purself up-to-date with each other latest news, gossiping and having dinner too. (Imagine how active our mouth at that time.. :P) Our meeting point is Manhattan Fish Market, Mid Valley Megamall outlet.

Meeting them makes me thinking about the unknown future (Since they started it with "Dayah, ko camner? Kitorg dah planning nak kahwin 2-3 thn lg."). What would it like when we meet again in the future, say... 5 yrs time? Oh my god, i'm guessing both of my best friends would be married at that time and bringing along their kids or hubbie or beau with them. Hahaha... Time flies by really fast... It won't wait for anything....

Gosh, how i miss them so much. How I miss our relax time in U.M.? Misses the old good times won't do much for me currently.. Hmmmm.. On our girl-talk sessions, they keep pushing me to start anew relationship with someone new.. Hmm.. not that I don't want to try but, luka lama still berdarah.. Hahaha.. It takes a looonngggg time to heal.. Gosh, how I hate to be reminded of that.. Yeah, maybe I'v become a wallflower without me realising it...

Anyhow, that aside.. There's few things that worries me currently.. I have to go Jakarta to work. yeah, i'm fine with travelling but my concern is my parents.. It does'nt sit me well to leave them even for 3 days.. Yes, i realize that sooner or later I have to leave them.. But, when look at Kak Mie's now at London, me going to Jakarta (and buzy with works) an Ija studying at Russia.. Leaving An as the only one with Mama and Abah... Hmm.. does'nt sounds well at all...

Lately, Mama and Abah always asked me to come home early... Well, I can't always do that.. My works requires me to stay late most of the time... I've even considering to change job early next year that is if I can't stand with the job pressure and responsibilities.. Hmmm... I hope the uneasiness, despair (all -ve thoughts) that dwells in my heart will disappear soon....

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

2006-11-02T09:25:00.000+08:00

Your Birthdate: October 16

You're incredibly introverted and introspective. You live inside your head.
You spend a lot of alone time meditating and thinking.
People see you as withdrawn, and at times they are right.
You are caring and deep, but it may be difficult for you to show this side of yourself.

Your strength: Your original approach to thinking

Your weakness: You tend to shy away from others

Your power color: Pale blue

Your power symbol: Wavy line

Your power month: July

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Kronologi Aidilfitri

2006-10-30T13:26:00.000+08:00

2hari sblm Raya
Mengemas rumah yg dah 6 bln tak dikemas. Huhuhu.. Bukannyer pemalas.. Tp, dah mmg projek membersihkan sawang dan habuk2 di bawah almari, tukar langsir, cuci karpet, lap tingkap, lap kipas and etc biasanya dilakukan menjelang Raya. Hari yg memenatkan. (Ija.. aku btul2 rindu kat ko hari nie.. Selalunyer, ko yg tlg aku.. nak harapkan tuan muda tue jgn harap ler... Last2 abah yg tlg aku.. huhuuhuhu)

1hari sblm raya
Hmmm... Ayat berkesan mama mintak aku bersihkan bunga2 plastik and batu dia tue "Dayah, mama tgk bunga2 mama tue dah tak berseri dah. Nak buang sayang pulak.. Baru jer beli tahun lepas... Malu la plak kalo org tgk berhabuk, tak berseri.." Walaupun penat smlm tak abis lagi, aku wat gak kerja remeh nie...
Pastue, abah pulak kata "Dayah, abah dah abis anyam ketupat.. Jgn lupa isi beras and pulut dlm kelongsong tue"... (Ija, for your info, thn nie abwah wat ketupat 2x ganda dr biasa... huhuhhu.. 3 jam aku isikan.. saat2 tue, aku terkenangkan ko ler.. huhuhuhu.. kalo ko ader cpat skit abis.. hehehe"
Kak mie punyer turn plak "Dayah, ko dah abis wat tue tlg aku racik bawang, serai, halia, etc utk rendang nie. Sapa suruh ko tak temankan aku gie pasar.. Dah kejutkan tak bangun2.... Cisss.." Huhhh.. kederat aku dah abis smlm mengemas rumah.. Tak larat nak bangun pkul 7 gie pasar.. hehehe.. sorry ler...
Malam lpas berbuka, mulakan aktiviti isi duit raya dlm bekasnyer... habis dkat RM650 tahun nie bg duit raya.. pegh.. rabak bulan nie.... nasib baik gaji masuk awal...

Hari Raya per1
Plan nak balik kg pkul 10am tergendala sbb Sultan Selangor sampai utk tunaikan solat sunat raya amat lewat.. 8:45am... kesudahannyer.. solat sunat raya tamat pkul 10am... alhamdulillah, jalan tak jammed.. sejam jer dah smpi tg karang, selangor. Hari nie 7 buah rumah dikunjung... Tiap2 rumah makan juadah hari raya.. (as usual terpaksa laa makan skit2.. takut kecik hati tuan rumah) Tahap kenyang hari tue, tahap maximum.. Ptg tue, try godek ariel tv yg bengong.. berusaha carik channel RTM 1 sbb muka Cik Hod ader kuar wat salam perantauan.. Hahaha... Tp, malangnyer, by the time dpt carik channel, ucapan dah abis dibuat.. Huhuhu.. Sian Cik Hod... Tak dpt tgk muka sendiri kat TV wat ucapan... Mlmnyer... lepak rumah Wak Wie, tunggu Ija call...

Bwh, gambar di pagi raya per1...

Hari raya ke2
Dpt beraya 8 buah rumah lg... Balik Shah Alam ptg tue gak.. pkul 5 dah smpi rumah.. Balik rumah tido ler... Tak larat weihhh...

Bergambar di pagi raya ke2...

Hari raya ke3
Gie Batu Laut and Banting.. Lg 7 buah rumah paman2 yg dikunjung..

Hari raya ke4
Yeah... hari dok rumah, rilex... Tp, pagi2 lg aku kena gie immigration.. amik passport.. pastue ge opis jap.. tgh hari balik rumah.. tlg2 apa yg patut... malam, gie rumah mak long....

Hari raya ke5
Hmm.. Pagi pergi Gombak, beraya kat rumah Cik Kecik... Then, t/hari gie Dengkil plak.. beraya kat rumah Kak Farah (kwn Kak Mie yg sesama nak gie London)... Ptg plak, Wak Mon dtg rumah beraya.. Jamu family wak ngan Sate Dengkil.. (sbb short notice, nasib baik gak dpt sate Hj Samuri)... Malamnye.. wat preparation utk open house.. lenguh giler...

Hari raya ke 6
Open House... Pg2 lg pkul 7, kemas rumah... Pkul 8, tlg Kak Mie memasak.. Pkul 10, gie amik sate ngan roti Jala, pkul 11 org mula berkunjung.. lebey kurang pkul 2, org yg datang ramai giler.. smpi ke dapur depa duduk... huhuhu.. mintak maap ler.. kalo tak terlayan.. tamat pkul 10pm.. huhuhuhu.. penat giler... tp, best... time kasih yg datang... yg tak datang.. rugiler korang.. :P

sekian kronologi..

Happy Burfday

2006-10-16T16:40:00.000+08:00

Happy Burfday to me.. Uikss.. Umur dah makin tua - 23... Tp, pemikiran tak matang2.. Hehehe.. But, I don't give a twit as long as I'm happy..

The "L" words (bliss, sacrifice or despair)

2006-10-16T09:37:00.000+08:00

Yeah, I know.. I rarely express my feelings or opinions on the "L" words openly. Nope, I'm not a homo.. (Tak nak tergolong dalam kaum Nabi Luth, Nauzubillahiminzalik). Just that I feel that its really personal to me and that's why, I rarely discuss (in details) on my relationships or affairs with anyone (even with my best friends.. exception to my younger sister, Ija because we're really close)...

What makes my sudden outburst of emotional flows was teasing by few of my colleagues and closed friends saying “Your attitude makes people (in this context, guys) afraid to get to know you laaa. Tak kahwin ko nanti”. Yes, I admit that peeps who don’t know me well enough, will have these kind of first impression of me – “Garangnyer budak nie”, “Ice-queen type of girl” and etc. But, the truth is I’m not. The real things is, I don’t know how to make/take the first step (especially in relationship). From my own observation, peeps that are now my buddies make the effort to get know me first. (Yeah, they’re really patient with my tantrums / songeh.. ehehehe.. Thanks guys). And as fair exchange, I returned them a sincere friendship.

About the “L” words, it needs two people to make it. (Tak guna bertepuk sblh tgn, menyeksakan dua belah pihak). The most important is, “L” word shouldn’t be base on these forbidden reasons: lust, greed, envy, revenge, solitude, fun, beauty or etc. My philosophy of the “L” words are, it’s like waiting a bus at the bus station. There is many type of bus that I can ride on. But, when I want to take the first bus, it might be full with passengers. The next one is an old bus, with no air conditioner. The third one might be dirty and dusty. The next bus the engine broken down. Yes, I’m aware that if I kept being choosy I might not get a ride at all.

In the scenario that I’ve already got a ride, but I have to get down somewhere off my destination due to some raison d'être; I will get down. I’ll be waiting there for a time, hoping the same bus will fetch me and send me off to my destination. For me, the “L” word doesn’t mean that we have to be with that person. Sometimes, letting go of that person is also a way to show the “L” words.

Hmm… I would be stupid if I kept waiting for ages for that bus to pick me up. If another reliable bus coming along after my confinement, I will not hesitate to take a ride. (It would be self-abusive if I not do so. Myself deserve a second chance.) But, if the first bus mange to catch-up with the current bus I’m riding and invited me back to him: I would say this to him “I’m sorry we were not meant to be together. I’ve given you ample time and it would be unfair for my current ride. So long, farewell, take care.” And to my current ride “ Thank you for taking me in.”.

However, I will explain to the second bus that he’s not in the top of my “L” list in my heart. The first is Allah, 2^nd is prophet, 3^rd is Al-Quran and angels, 4^th is my parents, 5^th is my siblings, 6^th is my family, 7^th is ‘your place’, 8^th is my friends. Can you compromise???

Blissful Weekends

2006-10-09T09:51:00.000+08:00

It was such a blissful weekend… yippee… I was able to do my favorite things to do which is, SHOPPING… I’ve spend nearly to RM 650 ++ on these:

- 1 Elle Suit (it’s really cute ^_~)

- 2 pairs of Dorothy Perkins bootleg pants

- 1 Zara knitted tops

- 1 Padini knitted tops

- Pierre Cardin stuffs..

*** I know in Ramadhan we have to control our lust in every way, but this weekend I failed terribly. But, considering I have not shop for nearly 3 months, which is a feat for me, actually. Even my elder sister did not discourage me not to shop. She even helps me to choose my selections… I will try my best to change (a false promise, I presume.. muahaha.. A shopaholic can't change her true color)

Menjelang Ramadhan

2006-09-22T08:11:00.000+08:00

Do'a Malaikat Jibril Menjelang Ramadhan ""Ya Allah tolong abaikan puasa umat Muhammad, apabila sebelum memasuki bulan Ramadhan dia tidak melakukan hal-hal yang berikut:
* Tidak memohon maaf terlebih dahulu kepada kedua orang tuanya (jika masih ada);
* Tidak berma'afan terlebih dahulu antara suami isteri;
* Tidak berma'afan terlebih dahulu dengan orang-orang sekitarnya.
Maka Rasulullah pun mengatakan Amiin sebanyak 3 kali. Dapat kita bayangkan, yang berdo'a adalah Malaikat dan yang meng-aminkan adalah Rasullullah dan para sahabat, dan dilakukan pada hari Jumaat.

Melalui pesanan ini saya memohon maaf jika selama ini saya memiliki kesalahan, baik yang tidak di sengaja mahupun yang di sengaja.

The famous "Malas" syndrome

2006-09-19T08:07:00.000+08:00

Aihhh... My dear lil sis sebarkan syndrome malas dia to me, eventough she's 100000miles away (Sheesshh.. 'malas' is very contagious.....)
Symptom2 'malas' yang ketara on me currently:
malas nak pergi kerja
malas nak buat kerja
malas nak pikir masa depan (e.g: ......)
when I:
love to sleep
love to watch movie/tv/anime
love to be "Lazy"
love to go shopping
still:
have to go to work
have to complete all mys tasks well
currently:
have to 'start' thinking on the future (takes sometimes though @_@.. one whom is close to me knew that i take future as "The future comes soon enough. Let it be.")
but the world is not fair:
all that i Love to do's, is the things that I can't do for time being (I'm damn buzy)...
and, the reality:
I have to plan and decide on my own what's best for me
(Hazardous defects on me = Bad in time management + Bad in making decisions)...

Stressful months...

2006-09-08T08:49:00.000+08:00

“Job stress comes in many different forms and affects your body in various ways. Major stress comes from having too much work, not having enough work, doing work that is unfulfilling, fearing a job layoff, or not getting along with your boss. Minor sources of stress may include equipment that won't work or phones that won't quit ringing.” Source from Yahoo: Managing Stress

I was diagnosed to have major stress problem. The symptoms was damn obvious and is tiring me out. I could'nt even get peaceful sleep at nights. Sometimes I will snap out and feels like I'm going to be crazy at some point. The frustration keep building up. Even dark circles started showing under my eyes and makes me look like a panda. One of my seniors once comment on my looks that " Siti, you look like hell". At that moment, I was shocked by her remarks but reply to her casually "You does'nt look any better". Yeah right, as if I have the time in the world to maintain my appearance.. (Sheesshhh... If I do that, half of my works will not be completed at any rate)

I have tried many ways to heal my tormented soul like pampering myself (either shopping, movies, hair spa or being substitute maid or driver for my mum), not going to work in the weekends, sleep, eat etc but nothing seems to work well. A few of my friends suggest to take a break, away from work and the stress. But, currently is a crucial time. I will not be able to apply for leaves. (Damn, even now I'm not sure if I able to take Hari Raya leave.)

Sometimes I've been wondering, what's keeping me moving at this time?. (Hmm.. I'm still mulling over this).. No, I'm not a wonder woman or genetically superior human being that I can complete all task perfectly (which is, currently an overload). I'm just doing what I can do. So, please don't put anymore pressure on me .... Gimme a break ..

Decisions and choices.

2006-09-05T08:11:00.000+08:00

In our every day life, we have to make up our own decisions and take responsibilities of it. All decisions made was done after thinking about it thoroughly, contradicting the pro's n con's, options available for that matters, and the most important thing is the impact and rationale's behind the decision's.

When I was young, I’m having nothing to be worried about since everything was taken care off by my parents. When I was a teenager, I’m worried and about what clothes I’m going to wear, what presents should I get for my best friends, mulling over about my weights, what I’m going to be when I was an adult, (doctor, programmer, engineer, etc), try my best to get good grades or busying myself with puppy love and so on... But now, when I’m an adult, I'm working hard on building a career, maintaining good relationships (like my family, friends, colleagues, etc) and also the unforeseen future.

By the time passing by I’ve realize that each decisions I’m about to make will have a very big impact in my life. What make me so indecisive while making decisions was these kinds of thoughts that I’m having: Am I able to carry it out well? What will happen next? Will I hurt anyone by taking this option? And the scariest part is: What if I screwed up? The uneasiness and insecurity feelings will always lingers in my heart even though I look very confidant at times. (Am I allowed to feel this way?)

Yes, I know that is how our life goes on… By making decisions and choices. And I know that, as normal human being (I’m not genetically superior human being ;) as was claimed by few of my colleagues) we apt to make errors and mistakes because we learned our lessons from that. However, I was blessed to have understanding family, supportive friends and colleagues whom always be the ever listener, sharing their point of views and also giving me other wonderful options. I thanked God and them for that.

Omigosh!

2006-08-26T22:20:00.000+08:00

It have been nearly to 2 years since I have'nt updated my blogs. I have been terribily buzy in these 2 years. (which the results is I've graduated in 2005, and started working in 2006). And, since working making me feel very stressed and depressed at some times, i feel that blogging is one of positive ways for me to release all the -ve energy bottled up in me. And, also taking my dear lil sis advise to activate back my blogging. (Thanks, Ija). So, i'll start posting soon enough. Matta-ne...

Thesis is starting..

2004-06-25T16:25:00.000+08:00

A Cup Of Coffee

2004-06-22T12:49:00.000+08:00

Right now, I'm terribly buzy with my final year.. huhuuhu.. and now, i would like share with you guyz a story: A Cup Of Coffee.. It's an intresting story and touches the deepest of your heart..(that's if you have any :P)

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle,when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar...and the coffee...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls.He then asked the students if the jar was
full.

They agreed that it was.So the professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "yes."

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, " I want you torecognize that this jar represents your life.

The golf balls are the important things - your God, family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions-things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other
things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The
sand is everything else-the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness.

Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things
that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.
The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Hope you are smiling at this moment! And opened your eyes and heart about the meaning of life itself :)

Gomen...

2004-05-29T12:36:00.000+08:00

Arghh... i've been buzy past this month. But, still i've got spare minutes to watch movies. Van Helsing is a dissapointment to me. There's no story behind the story. I've only see the well-made effect of Bat+Vampires, Frankenstein, Werewolves and good stunts. Lots of jumping and swinging made my face looks like @_@.. Troy is good. Eric Bana is more stand out than Brad Pitt.. No offense to Pitt's fan. :P A credit to Brad Pit for an excellent performance of sword-fighting.. And plus, i've never ever thought men can look good in skirts.. lol.. third movie i've watch is 13 Going to 30 starred by Jennifer Garner. This movie is one of the best romantic+comedy after Maid in Manhattan..

And, next week I'll be going to a holiday.. Already book a suite at Palm Springs, P.D.
I'll post up some pics afterwards..

See ya next semestar, guys...

Interesting...

2004-05-12T09:58:00.000+08:00

Programmer Lines for When their Programs Fail

20) "That's weird..."
19) "It's never done that before."
18) "It worked yesterday."
17) "How is that possible?"
16) "It must be a hardware problem."
15) "What did you type in wrong to get it to crash?"
14) "There is something funky in your data."
13) "I haven't touched that module in weeks!"
12) "You must have the wrong version."
11) "It's just some unlucky coincidence."
10) "I can't test everything!"
9) "THIS can't be the source of THAT."
8) "It works, but it hasn't been tested."
7) "Somebody must have changed my code."
6) "Did you check for a virus on your system?"
5) "Even though it doesn't work, how does it feel?
4) "You can't use that version on your system."
3) "Why do you want to do it that way?"
2) "Where were you when the program blew up?"
1) "It works on my machine."

p/s: Even though this is one of the cynical jokes up on to programmers.. But this the truth.. This are EXACTLY their lines when their programmes failed.. to be honest, i've used some of the lines from the past.. lets hope, neither we will not use any of these lines.. in the future..

Boring Day

2004-05-12T09:16:00.000+08:00

Argghh... I'm too lazy to woke up early in the morning and then straight heading to office.. Huhuhuhu...I'm anxious to get back to Uni.. This whole practical is tiring me out..(not to mention, give me a run for my money).. Only 3 weeks left.. Gambaimasu..